This morning as Austin and I were driving to "lala" class (kindermusic class), discussing the geese on the pond, the horses in the field, the digger on the dirt mound, etc. He blurts out, " I love Papa. I love Papa very much. " Out of the clear blue, just an innocent declaration of love for the man whose love for him radiates so obviously, that a small child has no trouble seeing it. He thinks a bit more, and adds, "Mama loves papa. Mama loves Papa ... very much." Yes I do, sweet boy, yes I do.
I often think of the miracle of adoption that brought us together as a family and whenever I do, I still get chills up and down my back. I can't help it. When I think of this little circle of love and how it was so PERFECTLY woven together, I can't help but get emotional. I'm pretty sure I spent the first six months of Austin's life with watery eyes. Each time I held him or watched Brian hold him, I couldn't believe God had worked this miracle for us, for us who had thought our arms might remain forever empty, and I would cry. I still do, more than I care to admit. It's not that every day, every moment is good, happy or perfect. It's not. It's that I get to have a chance to be in all those moments, the good and the bad, that I get to be part of this little circle. How many times I wish I could just hug Austin's birthmom, draw her into this little circle of ours. For her own reasons, she has chosen a closed adoption, and I understand. She is always in my heart, so she is a part of us anyway.
Years ago, on my kitchen cabinet, I stenciled the words, "love lives here". Since then, I have discovered a lullaby which makes me cry each time I hear it. A part of it goes:
In my own little corner of the world
when waking hours have flown
how blessed am I to sleep in peace
where LOVE has made a home.
A journey waits of years to spend
as I become who God intends
and this is where it all begins
in my own little corner of the world
Austin, God has put you here, in our little corner of the world, where Love surrounds you, and I am so glad. You are blessed little one, with love, God's love, a mama who adores you and a Papa who loves you. Who loves you very much.
The song is from the Veggie Tales Bedtime sing along and the video is dedicated to my sweet hubby