Search This Blog

Monday, February 6, 2012

Why I can', won't cut his hair

I was giving Austin a bath the other morning, a very long, play until you look like a prune kind of bath.  It was a slow, not much on the agenda kind of morning, and we were both having a blast with the whole duckie family.
After his bath, with his hair still damp and smelling heavenly, we played trains, of course.  And as I watched the sun shine in through the kitchen window and shine on his little head of curls, I thought again how much I love those curls and how I almost gave them up.

 "Certain" family members give me a good deal of grief over my boys long and flowing locks.  "He's a boy", they say.   (Really, no kidding?  Thanks for telling me, I might have gone my whole life and never known.)  And once, after he had turned one, I gave into pressure and took him for a hair cut.  And as he sat in a big plastic red car, some woman snipped off his beautiful curls.  I was so sad.  And after we left, I was so angry.  First I was angry at the aforementioned family members for making me cut my son's hair against my wishes.  Then I realized, NObody can make me cut Austin's hair, I had done it all by myself.
 I had listened to other peoples comments and had caved into the pressure.  They were just voicing an opinion, I was the one who betrayed myself and silenced my inner voice. It was ME I was mad at.
I decided right then and there to never again let someone, even well meaning someones, pressure me into doing what I (we) feel is right for our child.   There will be many times when what my husband and I feel would be best for Austin may fly in the face of some family member.  (If you don't believe me, just try picking a baby name everyone likes!)  This doesn't mean I shouldn't listen to and consider advice, to refuse to consider another's point of view would be foolish.  What I mean is, I don't want to make decisions just to please other people.  This little hair cut scenario was just the first in what I am sure will be a long list of differing opinions.  Just wait to a certain aunt hears about our plans for homeschooling!   So while I looked at my little boys short hair, I tried to comfort myself with the thought that a few locks of hair was a small price to pay for such an important lesson learned so early on in my parenting career.  

And, although baby curls don't usually grow back once cut, miracle of miracles, his did.  It seemed like an affirmation of my new found resolve.  At some point, my little guys hair will go straight and it will no longer be blond.  I may choose to keep it long or I may not.  And at some point, he himself will have a voice and opinion.  But for now, whenever I see my little Raphael-like angel, I am reminded of how much I love those curls and how good it feels when we are true to ourselves, and not living in the shadow of another's approval.  

All Aboard

Here are a few pics from our train ride to China this weekend
Austin wearing my onion goggles as sunglasses.  It's the latest trend for train engineers, don't  'cha know!
 The Learning Tower doubles as a train engine and alternately as the caboose.  Teddy, Mikey and Jo-Joe come along for the ride.  At different points, Mama and Papa join in for the journey.  Luckily, snacks (wooden fruit) were served and we even were able to catch a quick nap while the train traveled in darkness through a long tunnel.   I'm hoping to travel first class next time though.  I hear the seats are bigger!

No comments:

Post a Comment