weird weather and polka dots

As I type, the wind is howling like a soundtrack for a creepy movie.  It is cold outside, probably not as cold as it should be for this time of year, but cold.  It feels all the colder because for the past 2 days the temperatures hovered around 70.... in February.  Yesterday, an old friend and her kids came over and we had a picnic, outside, without jackets.  We then came back and I quickly wiped off the porch table and chairs, threw on a table cloth and we had tea and donuts (sadly, no home baked goodies, new stove arrives Tuesday) on the porch.

 The kids played in the sandbox, the dog ran around the yard, the chickens pecked happily.  It was a beautiful, glorious day.  A day which is a tease, a day which dangles spring in front of you on a cobweb, which almost makes you believe it will stay, although you know it won't, it can't, but...  On such a day your body feels younger, more energetic, alive, like spring itself.  I flung the windows open to air out the house and didn't close them until after sunset, it was that warm.  This morning I awoke to a cold, damp, gray day.  Back to normal.  I might, if only for a moment, been tempted to feel sorry for myself, for losing something so magical, but then I called my friend in Berlin.  She lamented it has been so cold, for days, with minus zero temperatures.  Her houseplants froze and died, IN her house!  She has the heat on, a space heater and the fire place going and still can't get the house warm.  Yeah, on second thought, it's not so cold here.

On another note, on Saturday we will be celebrating a 2nd birthday.  My friend's daughter, Naomi, will be turning two.  I remember so well when she was born.   I got a phone call in the evening from Becky's husband saying that the baby had been born.  What made this so unusual was that the baby wasn't due for a couple more months and we were in the middle of a major snowstorm, and how in the world did they even get to the hospital?  Well, I guess when your wife tells you she has begun labor, prematurely and there is 2 feet of snow outside, you just start shoveling.  I imagined Tim shoveled the majority of the day.  I'm guessing he shoveled his whole street, which is a small street and was not yet plowed.  I'm guessing, he would have shoveled a path path miles long to the hospital if that's what it would have taken.  And so, this little baby, this little 3 pound miracle entered the world, at the hospital, the only place she could have survived.  And survived she did.  She was a feisty little thing from day one, kicking off blankets and trying to nurse.  Now at two, she is more energetic than a cheerleading team, and just about as loud.  She's as smart as a whip, and as small as a peanut.  She's a bit like a tiny monarch with a megaphone and lilac glasses.
Well, anyway, to celebrate this ball of energy's birthday, we decided to make some wrapping paper (ok, partly feeling crafty and partly realizing we have nothing but Christmas paper in the house) with our trusty Ikea never ending roll of paper and some Dots ink stampers.  As it turned out, after digging in the craft basket I found a ribbon covered in dots which matched perfectly. It wasn't quite long enough for a bow so I cut a few pieces of tulle and, voila, instant bow.

When we finished, Austin announced that it "looks very pretty'" and "Naomi will like it a lot."  Well, there you go, he should know, after all he's been 2 for four months now.  I'd say that makes him the expert.

Such a good Papa

This past weekend, Austin developed a new passion; washing dishes.  Now, when I say "washing dishes" I mean that in a two year old sense of the word.  Which I believe is accurately defined as, splashing water in, around and out of sink by manipulating kitchen utensils in wash tub and water flow so as to best accomplish goal of kitchen saturation.  Or something like that.  However, a child happily engaged in such an activity is a child NOT underfoot while trying to cook dinner.  In walks Papa.  He is assigned sink duty while Mama tries to make some sort of dinner without the use of an oven or stove (see last post).  And as I am scurrying around in the kitchen, I stop to eavesdrop on the conversation around the sink.  Papa has worked out a functional system in which Austin does the scrubbing and Papa does the rinsing off, thus accomplishing reasonably clean dishes and satisfying the 2 yr. old need to "do it all by myself."  They worked side by side happily chatting.  I really would have rather given up the dinner preparations all together and sat and watched this episode of "domestic bliss", so engaging was the scene.

Instead, I went back to hunting and pecking in the fridge and considered how blessed Austin was to have such a good Papa.  How blessed I was to share this journey of parenthood with Brian.  How blessed we all were to be so surrounded in the love of each other.
This morning as Austin and I were driving to "lala" class (kindermusic class), discussing the geese on the pond, the horses in the field, the digger on the dirt mound, etc.  He blurts out, " I love Papa.  I love Papa very much. "  Out of the clear blue, just an innocent declaration of  love for the man whose love for him radiates so obviously, that a small child has no trouble seeing it.  He thinks a bit more, and adds, "Mama loves papa.  Mama loves Papa ... very much."  Yes I do, sweet boy, yes I do.

I often think of the miracle of adoption that brought us together as a family and whenever I do, I still get chills up and down my back.  I can't help it.  When I think of this little circle of love and how it was so PERFECTLY woven together, I can't help but get emotional.  I'm pretty sure I spent the first six months of Austin's life with watery eyes.  Each time I held him or watched Brian hold him, I couldn't believe God had worked this miracle for us, for us who had thought our arms might remain forever empty, and I would cry.  I still do, more than I care to admit. It's not that every day, every moment is good, happy or perfect.  It's not.  It's that I get to have a chance to be in all those moments, the good and the bad, that I get to be part of this little circle.  How many times I wish I could just hug Austin's birthmom, draw her into this little circle of ours.  For her own reasons, she has chosen a closed adoption, and I understand.  She is always in my heart, so she is a part of us anyway.
Years ago, on my kitchen cabinet, I stenciled the words, "love lives here".  Since then, I have discovered a lullaby which makes me cry each time I hear it.  A part of it goes:


In my own little corner of the world
when waking hours have flown
how blessed am I to sleep in peace
where LOVE has made a home.

A journey waits of years to spend
as I become who God intends
and this is where it all begins
in my own little corner of the world


Austin, God has put you here, in our little corner of the world, where Love surrounds you, and I am so glad.  You are blessed little one, with love, God's love, a mama who adores you and a Papa who loves you.  Who loves you very much.

The song is from the Veggie Tales Bedtime sing along and the video is dedicated to my sweet hubby

 

One of those days.....

It was a day like any other, filled with the best of intentions.  It held promise and plans.  It was a Saturday and sunny and mild to boot.  I got dressed and went to get Austin out of bed.  He was in the mood for cuddling.  A diaper change could wait 5 minutes, surely.  We snuggled in the rocking chair under a blanket and started reading "The three little bears".   And then, well, and then I was very wet.  Apparently the diaper change couldn't wait.  So I changed and dressed Austin and then I got dressed.  Again.  I went into the living room and stepped onto a very wet carpet.  Daisey this time.  I got a bucket of soapy water, got on my hands and knees and scrubbed the carpet.   Spilled the soapy water on me.   I got dressed.  Again.  Things were not going as planned.  Still, the sun was shinning and Becky and her girls were coming to decorate Valentine cookies with us.  It would be a fun day.  We went through our morning, ate lunch, I put Austin down for a nap and headed for the kitchen.  Since Becky would only be able to stay a short time, we decided I would bake the cookies ahead of time and let the kids decorate them.  I preheated the oven, rolled out the first batch, popped them in to bake and started rolling out the second batch.  <Loud piercing noise.>  Um, that would be the carbon monoxide detector.  I hit the reset button, nope, this was for real.  I called 911, grabbed a sleeping Austin in blanket and headed outside with the dog and Brian.  Austin woke up to an exciting show of fire engines and police cars.   Turns out the CO levels were pretty high.  High enough for the Medic to decide I should be seen at the hospital since I had been so close to the stove which was the source of the leak.  That, and my lips and cheeks were too red which I learned is a sign of CO exposure.   I left a message on Becky's answering machine that we had a "situation" developing and she'd better hold off on driving over.  Brian grabbed Austin, the firemen fanned out the house, and they put me in the ambulance and sped away.  OK, my plans were definitely derailing quickly at this point.  So now I am sharing a ride with a very sweet, very talkative EMT guy who by all accounts failed the, "how to keep a patient calm and relaxed" course in his EMT training.  He proceeds to tell me that the level of CO I was exposed to was a fatal level, and that my lips and cheeks were a definite sign of my exposure.  I assured him, I really was ok, just a little nausea and headache, but nothing severe.  He then tells me at the hospital they would do an arterial blood gas stick, or something like that, to test my levels.  I said, you mean they'll do a blood test, no big deal.  Oh no, he assures me.  This blood test would be directly from my artery in my wrist, not a vein in my arm and it is quite uncomfortable, but necessary.  I wouldn't soon forget this, but they will surely numb me with ice first.  He continued on about this and then informed me that the heart monitor was showing an elevated heart rate, another sign of CO poisoning.  Or perhaps "too much information poisoning", I thought.  I suggested that maybe all this talk of "uncomfortable" procedures might just be making me a wee bit nervous.  Well, in the end, I just got oxygen and a regular blood test, I turned out to be fine and was released.  Brian picked me up and since we now had no stove, we searched for a place to eat dinner.  The first place was "temporarily" closed, the second restaurant had closed permanently, the third and forth places had a long, long wait and the last place was IHOP and we ate there.  We stopped at LOWES on the way home to buy new CO monitors, since the firemen told us the old ones would be shot now that they had been exposed to high levels of carbon monoxide.  Since we still didn't know the source of the problem, I did not feel comfortable sleeping in the house without new ones.  In any case, we finally made it home, walked in the living room to find... another Daisey accident.  And so the day ended as it had started.  But, as I sat in the rocking chair that night, with Austin again in his pjs and me snuggling him under a blanket, saying our prayers, I realized in the end, it had been a good day.  We had been in the hands of God, protected by His mercies.  We had had a CO detector and it had worked right away.  We live in a place safeguarded by police and firemen who come at a moment notice when help is needed.  There are medical teams with advanced equipment should I have needed it and a hospital minutes away.  Restaurants abound to temporarily fill in for non working stoves.  It was an inconvenient day, a day with ruined plans.  And ruined cookies.  But at the end of it, I found myself safe at home, cuddling with loved ones....just plain blessed.

Happy Weekend!

Hope your weekend is as much fun as a

 really good book

and a ride in a laundry basket!

these winter days

 A Few of our Favorite Things

The Kitchen is always a favorite place to play

These castle walls are a new favorite of mine.

 They can be put together in countless ways, which keeps Mama entertained, and creates castles big enough to sit in and play, which keeps Austin entertained.  Sometimes we build a house for the people, sometimes its a city with passageways for cars and trains.

 Turkey chili has made it's yearly comeback.  Always a favorite in the winter months

 Knitting and felting bowls has become somewhat of an obsession of mine of late.  They are quick to knit, fun to felt, great for using up small amounts of yarn and are useful to boot!  The littlest one has become a candle holder.

 Play dough.  What would inclement weather be without play dough.    Always a big hit and a tasty treat.  Wait, you're NOT supposed to be eating it!

 Trains, trains and more trains.  Big trains, little trains, books about trains. You get the idea.

 Itty bitty booties.  No, these sadly do not his ever growing little feet anymore.  I found these the other day while rooting thru a drawer for candles.  Why they would be in a candle drawer I simply cannot say.  But I have been enjoying occasionally picking them up and wistfully remembering when his little feet were that small.....not that long ago.  And hoping and praying that maybe another little pair of feet will someday soon fit in them again.

These Winter Days

What a strange winter this has been.  October brought us an unexpected snowstorm and except for the bit we got last weekend which quickly vanished, it has been a very snow less winter.  We have had cold days but also many more mild ones and the changes from one to another has been dramatic and swift.  One day it may be 17 degrees and the next, 52.  The constant change in temperature has left us all with an almost constant runny nose.  But, be that as it may, winter will still technically be with us for many more weeks.  How to make the most of it?  What keeps us busy on these gray, wet days?  I try to get outside to play on most days, regardless of the cold, as long as it is not raining.  It may not be for long, but I think the fresh air is worth it.   We have spent many a cold morning on a completely empty playground.  Austin often comments, "no boys and girls at the playground today".  But truthfully, this time outside makes up only a small percent of our days.  Fresh air is nice, but so is being cosy in the comfort of one own home.  And we have been cosy.  We are playing with old toys in new ways, pulling out the favorites, rotating in some new ones, just generally having fun.  And of course the books, always the books.  I am so glad this little person of ours is turning out to love books as much as we do.  What this will mean in terms of future storage is a bit of a scary thought.  I envision one day having to move the bedrooms and everything downstairs just so we can convert the upstairs into a library.  Or maybe an addition to the house???  In any case, I'm kind of enjoying a self imposed house arrest this year.  Usually, I like to be out, going places, doing things.  And when the spring and summer comes, that urge will probably return.  But for now, I'm heeding the call of the rocking chair, the yarn and needles, the books and the little voice that says, "Mama, come play" and liking it.

A teachable moment

Today started out with a shot in the rump. As you may or may not know, I am undergoing fertility treatments in an effort to become pregnant. In addition to several other unpleasantries, I get to give myself ( ok, Brian actually does it) a shot in the stomach each night and on the final day I get one in rump muscle. This final one always hurts, alot. I wake up as usual, try to get my bearings, think, "what day is it today?" and remember, oh yeah, it's shot day. Not my favorite way to start off a morning. That done, I went to the coin star machine in the supermarket to trade in a tupperware container full of coins. With Austin in the wagon, waiting to help put in the coins, I pick up the container and drop it. Right there in the store. I hear groans behind me as other shoppers watch in horror as hundreds of coins fall and scatter on the ground. Austin simply says, "Mama dropped monies.". I realized 2 things. The first was that no one was going to help me pick up these coins. There were many people watching me to be sure, one even stepping around me, but I was alone on this one. And the second was that Austin was watching me and learning. How I responded to this situation would be an example to him on how to deal with mishap and frustration. Would I utter a few low pitched swear words, would I grumble about how no one is nice enough to help, would I complain and belittle myself for being such a klutz? This is a teachable moment, seize it. Sitting on a dirty supermarket floor scooping up coins may not be how I wanted to spend my morning, but this is where I find myself so I might as well make the most of it. "Yes Austin, Mama did drop them. I'll just have to pick them up and then you can help me push the buttons on the machine.". A few minutes later, we were happily watching the machine gobble up the coins. Our days are full of these "teachable" moments. Because they are always watching. Always absorbing and learning. How he responds when his trains fall off the track or the puzzle piece won't fit has a lot to do with how I respond in the check out line or to the driver that just cut me off. Do I offer to help when someone needs it? Do I remember to say thank you, and mean it? To be a mom is to be under a magnifying glass all the time. I'd like to say I am a shining example of morality, justice and love. But the truth is, I'm still learning myself. Still learning to keep those all powerful emotions in check, to put others needs before my own, to make gratitude my starting point. And to admit when I've blown it and say I'm sorry. Failure is a teachable moment too, a very important one. As much as I want to teach Austin to do the right thing, he also needs to know how to make it right when he didn't. We want kids to learn by what we say, and they do, but they learn far more by watching what we do. We don't like that, the constant spotlight, the need to be better people than we really are. It's as if our conscience has moved outside of us and is inhabiting this little person. Pinnocio had Jiminy cricket, I have Austin. They say having kids makes you a better person. I don't know if it does, but it makes you WANT to be a better person. Because after all, they're watching.

5 Again

What is it about a little snow and a really cool sled that makes me feel like I'm five again?  All morning I waited patiently for Brian to get the sleds out of the loft.  And to eat breakfast.  And to get dressed.  I kept glancing out the window to make sure the snow hadn't melted or disappeared.  Nope still there. Powdery and perfect.  Not too much, that would bog down the sled.  Not too wet or slushy.  No, this was the good stuff, perfect sledding snow.  Not good for snowman building perhaps, but just right for racing down a hill.
There is only one problem.  We don't own a hill.  But a peek across the street reveals a lovely, unused slope just begging to be played on.  Brian goes to ask the neighbors permission.  More waiting.  A yes, yes, we are welcome to use their hill.  And then the layers.  Long underwear.  pants, sweater, snowsuit, hat, mittens, boots... can the child still move?
We trek across the street and Papa goes the first test run.  It's safe.  Let the fun begin!

The hill is just right, enough of a slope to pick up speed, but not so big that a 2 year old would be scared.  Although I'm not so sure this 2 year old would be scared of any hill.  He's that sort of kid.  His papa looks as if he's going 100 miles an hour on a luge and not a modest little slope.   He's leaning back and his face looks as if the high speeds and winds are knocking the wind clear out of him.  Austin is sitting upright and relaxed, laughing and having a wonderful time.  Me, I couldn't have been happier.  Taking my turns and watching my two men have fun was an afternoon well spent.  I'm no daredevil, but a little bunny hill and a little speed sure are fun.

Plus, it was so nice having this little hill to ourselves; the snow unused and no fear of crashing into other sledders.  It was a great afternoon.  We came back, had lunch, played trains and took a little nap.

It's good to be five once in a while.  To absorb the energy and enthusiasm of a little one.  To remember one's own childhood when experiences were new and yours to master.  When a snowy Sunday afternoon stretched out endlessly before you like summer vacation.  When footie pajamas, a warm bath and a goodnight kiss awaited you at the end of the day.  Yup, it's good to be a kid.  Or just to have one.



PS.  The sleds are from "mountain boy" sled company.  Highly recommend them.  They are big and wooden but a unique rudderless bottom makes them practically weightless on the snow.  Wimpy me can easily pull it up a steep hill with Austin sitting on it.  And they are really beautiful to look at when no one  is on them.